How to bounce back from failure? Fear of failure is greater than failure itself.
Failure is the stepping stone to success.
Heard this quote so many times that sometimes I wonder how many actually believe in it?
Not all failures are stepping stones to success, but they definitely are great teachers. Growing up and even today that is the only truth for me. Failure has been my great teacher. It has shown me the courage to try something new. It has taught me that failing is not the end but the beginning of something different.
There are failures at every stage and at every age. Some change us, some change the path we were traveling on, and some failures teach us we are humans because we tend to forget that.
What is it about failure that scares many?
Why is it so very personal to the point we stop believing in us?
How do we bounce back after a failure?
Let us first understand what failure is.
In simple words failure is lack of success.
Lack of success in whatever we set out to do, then why do we equate it with the associated person and use it to label people. It is just an act where we did not get the result we expected.
Understanding it and recognizing it is as important as trying to find ways to bounce back from the feelings associated with failure.
Everything is my fault– everything is my fault or whatever is happening or happened is because of me is not a good state. The failure itself doesn’t matter. It could be a relationship, a new venture, a new project, any such situation where we did not succeed.
- Analyzing to identify our part in it is good, as it is a lesson learned to be taken forward and implemented.
- However, blaming oneself entirely is not fair to the person within.
- It can shatter your confidence and self- belief.
- The blame taking- leads to guilt- which leads to low self-esteem and confidence and that is not OK.
Recognize the pattern and see if you blame yourself for everything that happens around and in your life.
You feel every failure is because of you and that can harm your self-belief as a person.
One of the ways to break this chain is-
- every time you fail, look at it objectively
- Have a placard that screams don’t blame yourself in big bold letters
- Identify your role. Use this opportunity to take some lessons from failure
- Learn, move on and implement.
Tip1.Treat failure as a learning opportunity
The other scenario- it’s all because of you
The same as above but with role reversal. Here others blame you for the failures.
- again all the steps from above ✅
- In addition most of the times if someone blames you completely for the failure and they take themselves out of the equation just remember they are cowards and bullies
- It was never your monkey and they just offloaded it on your back
- You will always meet such people so use this as an opportunity to learn how to deal with such people as and when they come into your life.
Tip 2-Treat failure as your teacher who is imparting you life lessons and showing you how to stand up for yourself.
You start a new venture where you have invested your time, effort and some time finances too- IT IS A FAILURE. What do you do?
You make it personal and go on a guilt trip?
Wait….
- Happens to most of us
- the effort and time loss doesn’t hurt as much as financial loss
- it could be a major blow for some and cause anxiety, stress and other physical and mental issues.
Who remembers the quote failures are stepping stones to success at such times. All that one can see is the looming financial loss and the bills that need to be paid.
Actually financial failures are the easiest to bounce back from if you step into any financial dealing with complete preparedness
- Make a list of your tangible and intangible financial assets
- List of assets that can be liquidated any time
- A financial back up plan to pay bills, insurance premiums, household expenses and the other emergencies at least for a year. Sometimes it could take more time to recover losses.
- A contingency plan to generate income if needed
- Clear documentation in all financial dealings with regard to your venture to avoid nasty surprises later on
- No financial investment should ever be 100% of your savings
- Everyone involved should be appraised of what is expected if things fail so that it is not sudden and an overnight crisis
Financial difficulties can upset the mental well-being as it causes worry and anxiety, so helping each other stay positive along with the above tips coupled with saving habits can help you bounce out of any financial crisis.
Be prepared for a possible failure but do not be certain of it.
Regarding time and effort it is never wasted. You would have learnt the art of negotiation, research skills, how to define a problem, approach it and find a solution. This time the solution was wrong and you failed but the learnings will help you find the right solution in the future.
Most of the time our inability to bounce back from failure is because of a lack of culture or environment that supports it. As children how many times were we allowed to fail? How many schools are OK with students who want to try, experiment and maybe fail while trying out. Even as adults how many of us are willing to give our children chances to fail so that they learn life lessons. As an organization or society are we OK with failure.
Remember failure is not the end, it is just the beginning of something different.
How to bounce back from a failure?
- Failure is not you or something that defines you
- You are not responsible for every failure
- Financial failures need a plan to bounce back
- Failures are grand old masters with lots of wisdom
- They teach you to tread a different path
- Nudge you to try something new
- Help you recognize when to say it is enough and you should give up.
- Sometimes courage lies in giving up what is not working rather than foolishly pursuing it because of fear of failure
Some inspirational quotes that remind me of failure is a teacher and there is a lot to learn in life from it.
“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” – Eloise Ristad
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” – J.K. Rowling
“It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.” – Zig Ziglar
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley